Double Clutch

Boris Johnson should not be trusted: A Prime Ministerial basketball analysis

In 2011, bumbling Conservative mascot, Have I Got News For You regular and then-serving Mayor of London, Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson ‘tipped off’ NBA Europe week with a public appearance outside City Hall. With the election upon us, what better time to revisit that day, examine the after effects and assess the current Prime Minister’s basketball aptitude.

The American-born politician’s sporting endeavours have been widely covered over the years. Whether it be inexplicably , or ; you name it, jovial rogue Johnson has done it. It appears that Johnson is out of his depth in the sporting world, yet he continues to exist within it.

Make no mistake about it; Johnson’s skillset is limited. He has a low ceiling for improvement too. From what we know about him, when he misses, he misses badly and tends to veer heavily to the right. He can find a way to bungle the easiest of opportunities and is prone to .

However, his ability to sharply fade away when it matters and pass the rock to others can be quite staggering from time to time. Some of his offensive flaws are often nullified by his extremely active hands and he’s always . Though much to the chagrin of many – myself included – Johnson has inarguably found a way to win, at any cost, in recent years. The biggest takeaway from his scouting report, however, has been his tendency to slip into intense cold spells.

From the footage we have, I wanted to take a closer look at Johnson’s shot mechanics.

Firstly, what stands out is the complete absence of a guide hand on almost all of his shots. Considering the on-going rhetoric around guidance and direction, it’s surprising that Johnson doesn’t even provide his own shots with a helping hand to determine their fate.

Unsurprisingly, when shooting, Johnson holds no kind of firm position. He never seems to have his body set the same way twice and is guilty of unpredictable, jerky movement that will alter the outcome of his attempts. It’s almost as though he is willing to adjust his position at all times, with no real understanding of consistency or discipline.

Unless you’re four-time NBA All-Star Shawn Marion, shooting from your chest is considered a major no-no for coaches and players across the basketball community. Johnson is clearly a shameless chucker and wants to release the ball as quickly as possible, yet hopes for it to go in so he can reap the benefits.

The positioning of his thumb is off and that can make for an unpredictable trajectory. This kind of wild approach can cause dangerous bounce-back for bystanders, which Johnson doesn’t seem to consider.

As Bullingdon’s Boris knows better than anybody, if you hang around for long enough and luck goes your way, eventually your entitlement to succeed with pay off. You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take, after all.

Skipping forward a year to preparing for the Olympic Games of London 2012 – an inarguable high point in Johnson’s tenure as Mayor – where he appears in front of a hoop once again, this time sporting an unruly flaxen mop hairstyle.

On this occasion, he opts for an over-the-head circus shot, which is disqualified from serious analysis for obvious reasons. However, the clip hammers home a profound realisation about Johnson’s tenure – specifically in regards to ‘getting Brexit done’ – which can be metaphorically reduced to footage of a privileged politician throwing a ball somewhere behind him and hoping that the subsequent result makes him look competent.

Vote carefully, basketball fans.